music

inst beteween my wall papering i seem to have joined a band, heres some of one of the dudes stuff

http://www.myspace.com/lipsyncforalullaby

mind and listen all the way through, this stuffs tops

point

so my switch card declined to buy a round int pub, having ordered said round i went to the bank to sort out my financial issues (thats bank meaning bank and not parent meaning well,...) and on my return i find this engraved on my point

point = me doing my iyerish accent

"...and now a naked midget sat on a pole..."

funny

think chris morris might have something to do with this

who best: tom waits or the pixies

'off white' rymes with 'shite '

'magnolia@ is hard to ryme with but with effort im sure you could make it work with 'cunt'

double glazing"s right pricey and you cant get cavertywall insulation in a top floor flat (as me dad explained using very simple physics)

so thank a god for the very telented young asian children who make the shiney, shiney cheap things that i can buy from ikea and furnish my bathroom with

netherlands

went to amsterdam


heres some pics

























oh hang on camera ran out of power one the first day


could i recomend rookies fer drinking and "the grey area" fer cup winners


oh and never get a peddlelow after eating a browny (damn that dutch chocolate) it scared me

but i would recomend the rijks museam (that propaply due alot more concernants that normal) even tho half of its closed at the moment it did make me recognise how tops rambrant is

more in a bit

toodles

euromarkconvertingtosterling

http://lebanonheartblogs.blogspot.com/

contains real life photos and stuff

im not xenophobic, its just theyre all twats

RepoSTed_/)(\_aNd RE:miXED 4 20oO n $!X

Rules for the Edinburgh festival
1- The amount of talent posessed by fringe performers is in inverse proportion to the size of their trust funds.

B- Tourist are gasseus, they can and will expand to fill all the available space, especially noticable around street corners, level crossings, shop door ways , pavements and swarming around in front of the bar in pubs.

d- Mullets have never gone out of fashion in spain

t Reviewers: Why spend so much time searching the ether for that specific lyrical metaphor to express that last performance when you can just liken it to a recent genre or performer only on acid

5- Producers? at a loss for insperation, why not take a notorious figure from the media and add songs, a sure fire 5 star rating awaits in The List

)- Having a leader called "bush" is asking for it, what were they thinking?

h-Never date a backpacker

D1- Polish gentlemen only have 3 hair styles to select from, the Grade 1, 2, or 3

Save money on human statues, time your viewing pleasure at the time they start packing up, plenty of movement and its all free.

7- Bongo's are very rarely a proper musical instrument

t- never date a backpacker

6- Please when walking between an afternoon performance of "101 shakesperian knob gags - the musical" and "bouncers: the opera" feel free to walk diagonally, pointing at beatiful edin-bou-rough and stopping to take off your plastic mac; people from edinburgh have the all of august off as paid holiday and use this time to mainly walk on the road

3=Why not endear yourself to the local residents. After nipping into the discount book shop on Princes Street to buy the novelty bonnet/ Ginger wig combo and posing in a line at the East end whilst each one of you takes a pic, why don't you take in the sights. The number 22 not only goes over Edinburgh's famous bus-guideway at Broomhouse but on the trip back you can view the architecture at Cables Wynds house, newly listed! Or be one of the First to take in the extravagant development at Granton Harbour,just a short walk after traveling on the number 14 to literary Muirhouse, and remember with that famous scots charm, locals will be only too happy to stop and take a picture for you

q- henna tattoo's are shit, doing hair wraps is not a trade nor a skill

$- Leaflet collecting can not be turned into a sport no matter how hard you try.

b-white man steal country, white man steal didgeridoo and play it like a cunt

*-At the last count there were 30 differant scoring methods for "twatting the leafleteer"

9- "And remember keep street theatre free by donating your paper money this way" No sir keep street theatre free by not mugging people for a fiver after watching you perform one juggling trick stood up and then taking 15 minutes to work your way onto doing the same trick again, only this time on a stick, you pseudo- freakish, shit tatooed, partialy trained monkeycunt

tinkerbell "tink" tinker

bless her, she was ace

its not case of if its art or not but if its shit

i call this puppet chair

feb 96 i think

this is ace part 4 again

but its just so fucking funny:

http://juchegirl.blogspot.com/

heres a sample:

Bush oppress the poor downtrodden people of the world for his own sick twisting pleasure. My brother who is very smart show me picture of Bush who pick up handicap people in wheelchair and toss them on the ground for laughing like maniac with the vampire Cheney.

Dear Leader never do that. Dear Leader make the handicap walk and the blind see. Dear Leader is always full of loving care for the people.

Once Dear Leader went for giving guidance to handicap hospital with one room full of people who had lost an arm or leg in accidents of construction sites building the great powerfull prosperous country. Dear Leader distributed arms and legs to who needed arms and legs and when Dear Leader had finished distributing arms and legs all the people who had missing arms and legs did not miss one arm or leg no longer! Bush can't do that but Dear Leader can.

Blogs cant get much better than this

Telescopes

theyre touring! yey and lucky for any US readers out there theyre coming to America:

rats tres

Its a sorry time at "Ma Maison du Fieldhouse" (im going to have that engraved on a plaque and stick it to my door)

Katie Jane turned out to be the runt of the litter and never grew, she passed away a couple of weeks ago.

And to make matters worse Ms Tink has an in operal tumor and has propably a week at best

Norman however still the same fat lazy bastard who has stopped trying to eat Ferret, and Ferret is starting to ratty wrestle with me, which is one of the funniest things ive seen in a few weeks (i have however had a shit few weeks)

Its fucking FOOTBALL not soccer...

The world cup eh? (baseball fans note the correct use of the term "world" here)

I must have a testosterom issue, every 4 years i seem unable to have a conversation with any male with out seeming retar... eer "special".

Sample conversation:

me "what team are Austria playing in?"
Pub dude (think it were brian); "Yellow, and its not Austria its Australia, Austria didnt qualify"

It was interesting some of the media stuff that was going on tho

For people unaware Most scottish fans support 2 teams Scotland and anyone who plays England, its been like this for decades, although this year the media seemed to get mortally offended my any one in the public eye who voices this opinion. The first minister indicated that he would be supporting Englands opersition, it was like he had taken a couple of Isrealy soldiers captive, Andy Murray made similar comments and was met with hate comments on his web site about the Dunblane school massacre (he was at that school the time of the shootings).

On the other side a father and his young son were hospitalised in Edinburgh for wereing English football tops, this was just one of many such incidents.

As an English (northern England that is) bloke who doesnt much care for football who lives in Scotland i really really could not give a fuck what team people support, what does get me is people in the media telling people who they should support. I do think that actively wanting a team to do bad is a fairly childish tho.

On a plus point tho the amount of George Cross flags sold recently should help out the Korean/ Chinese economy no end

this is ace part 4

look what i found

"Bush steal wheel" my favourite so far

it made me laugh alot

love is

dictionary.com says:

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3. 1. Sexual passion.
   2. Sexual intercourse.
   3. A love affair.
4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment

agape:

1. Christianity Love as revealed in Jesus, seen as spiritual and selfless and a model for humanity.

2. Love that is spiritual, not sexual, in its nature.

3. Christianity In the early Christian Church, the love feast accompanied by Eucharistic celebration.

in chinese:

a poet wrote:

I met a lady in the meads,
...Full beautiful--a faery's child;
Her hair was long, her foot was light
...And her eyes were wild.
I made a garland for her head,
...And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
...And made sweet moan.

I set her on my pacing steed,
...And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
...A faery's song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,
...And honey wild, and manna dew,
And sure in language strange she said--
..."I love thee true!"

(keats)


Why do you tell some one you love them?

because you need to hear the same thing back?

Because you want them to know?

Because you think you should?

Do you say it to make up for all the things you never did?

ladies and gentleman....

may i introduce to new additions to team fieldhouse



KatieJane II (back row)
Ferret (front)

now to persuade fat boy norm not to eat them

ohmeohmyohfuck

Mortgage:

• A temporary, conditional pledge of property to a creditor as security for performance of an obligation or repayment of a debt.
  
• Death Tax (from Old French : mort, dead (from Vulgar Latin *mortus, from Latin mortuus, past participle of mort, to die)

Life;

• The time for which something exists or functions: the useful life of a car.
• A spiritual state regarded as a transcending of corporeal death.
• An account of a person's life; a biography.
• Human existence, relationships, or activity in general: real life; everyday life.

dying:

• To cease living; become dead; expire.
• To cease existing, especially by degrees; fade: The sunlight died in the west.
• To experience an agony or suffering suggestive of that of death: nearly died of embarrassment.

Living:

• The condition or action of maintaining life: the high cost of living.
• A manner or style of life: preferred plain living.
• A means of maintaining life; livelihood: made their living by hunting.

No so Grim up north

Friends of the family

ben and micheal

chris and john

Its Grim up North #2: top name

Its Grim up North#1: down the road (bradford)

converted terrace curry house (bradford)

Megnetphone featuring sonic boom and king creasote

blinding

a toast

gary and sarah now have an additional Danny (just over 8lb), see garys blog in about 2 weeks fer pictures

this makes him no more or less of a bawbag

TOPS!

Holiday time

i is going to see my good friend Chris's (he's a jewish-yank really but doesnt like to talk about it) band play in leeds, so i get to spend the whole weekend in bradford, yorkshire.

interesting things you should know about bradford:

1. Relief of Mafeking (1900)
2. Marmite (1902)
3. Race Riots
4. My mate chris driving home, goes past burning car showroom: his car then breaks down and him and a couple of medicated dudes need to push car through riot.
5. You can get a curry for under £3, normally in the converted room of a terrace house. Menu on blackboard on wall, normally containing non- specific meat
6. The answer to the eternal question "Who ate all the pies?" can generaly be answered with "Most of the women over the age of 17 in bradford"
7. It has the 1 in 12 club
8. I were a member of 1 in 12 when i was 15: i had "mouse" on my card
9. It's where that prossie drama that was on tv a couple of years ago were set
10. Its was the home of truck driver and mis-user of the chisel peter sutcliffe

you also cant get thrown out of "rocking" rio's for sticking yer arse out of your pants and slapping it in time with the hard rock music, i have tried

it takes a nation of millions to hold us back

started working here

its really quite cool

in fact, being a sinic i would like to add a few negatives, but i cant (well nae yet), it really is ace

for the first time in years i can be in a place that doesnt alienate me and meet people that i have things to talk about with

thank fuck

bin a long time bin such a lonley lonley time

things i have done since me last blog (well apart from the very last one)

1: pramface demo
2: the kilt walk. Yup this is who i work for, yes this is the campest thing since elton john and a load of pink tents went through a window, and wel i was hoping to come up with a no, but if youve clicked on the links...
3: Noised my very telented mate up so he can be in the band he should be in
4: found that finding mirrors around the place could be connected to my numb nose
5: had threatening calls
6: learnt how to finger pick (the guitar that is ms z)
7: named a pramface tune after a threatening call
8: Spent far too much time on myspace
10: found oot how to change the background on stuff
11: tryed to upload tune onto myspace an unexpected error sic occured, yet when i tried to upload the tune again apparently i couldnt because it was processing the tune that i hadnt uploaded
12: overused the radial blur filter on photoshop

Tunes!

Johns bands demo here.

Pramface demo here.

Id recomend johns

Its not quite degree level stuff, but it does rise some interesting questions; here
more here

"...you're like candy to me; but candy's no good..."

having not posted properly in a while (ive been speading time @ m*sp*ce.com_)
i reckoned; time fer poetry then...

Song for Simon

Use to misuse, abuse
abuse and abused
Acute and accused
Pin prick and oily
The fool is confused
Dependence, addiction
Addiction depends on
depends on who?

Flying you deepen
A chemical coherence
People see what
Do what they want
A religious devotion
devout like a fool on
A chalky pill icon
To hang with and lean on
keep high and dream on
And remember what you never forgot

my eyes my eyes...!

now everyone can play "spot the link"


**reading numpty's guide to HTML**

"You fucking broke my sitar, motherfucker!"

Well its come to this : aiming to make 90% sick after looking at it fer 2 minutes.

If you do go there, could you go to and gi us feed back on this (apart from the pic, which was just to noise john up), its an old mate of mine that i would appear to be *ahem* managing at the moment, he should be working at break kneck speed on a reworked copy of his demo.

Any between this franticness i watched DiG, which were cool and one of the funniest things ive seen in a while (although sadly no drummers died in the making) and also downloaded most of the Brian Jonestown Massacres albumns from their site

Also toying with doing solo version of "pramface" demo, prob more on that some other time

laters

rats, rats, key cupboard, snowy leith, rats and me

Its just fucking Rugby; played by Girlie-Men in body armour

A belated post

Not sleeping one night, i turned on Radio5 (radio 4 was off air) and they were talking about the Superbowl and the various teams etc

A couple of days and a trip to the boozer later i came back and went on the poker. Having taken some nice pots recently (4 Kings, **dances**) i had some cash in the account and having drunk some beer the thought accured i should piss it away by gambling on games i know nowt about, and i remembered the radio from the other night...

about 3 weeks later and as my monthly drinking vouchers had gone, i thought id play some poker ..

Superbowl XLPittsburgh Steelers: 20 - 1: £5 on to win: Win: £105.00

more evidence (if needed) that radio listening, internet gambling and booze are good stuff; i would also note that i was smoking cigerettes at the time.

"Sane, sane, they’re all insane Fireman’s blind, the conductor is lame A cincinnati jacket and a sad-luck dame Hanging out the window with a bottle f"

the telescopes "auditory illusions"

any one with ears needs this. Theyre doing an offer at the mo you can buy the first 4 releases for £20 (theyll post international for £30 all in)

The perfect thing to scare Bellend Sabastian fans, yey

" ...fly away away away..."

les Mouse de le field

You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird. Life can be perfect. People ca

the perfect tortea du potata, learned from proper spanish, from spain

stuff:
eggs (5 or 6)
Olive oil (some)
an Onion
about 5 or 6 small potatoes or less if bigger


method:
chop tatties into small (>1cm/sq) cubes
there should be enough spud to 1/3 fill a frying pan
this should be put in a pre heated non stick frying pan (with enough olive oil to cover the tatties)
Fry the above for a bit
dice the onions and add to the frying pan

Whilst the above is cooking beat eggs in a bowl adding sea salt and ground black pepper as desired.

Once it looks like the onions are starting to cook (and the potatoes should be soft(ish))take the frying pan straight from the hob and add very hot contents to the egg

stir, cover and leave for 10 minutes

stir, cover and leave for 5 minutes

having already reheating the frying pan to a fairly hot temperature add the mixture

do various things to the pan whilst periodically remove from the heat for short periods
a slight twitch/shake/rotation action is good, with the odd stir

once it looks like the base is starting to set, we cheat a little (dont do this in front of the spanish as they freak) and stick the pan under a hot grill untill the top of the omlette starts to solidify

the tricky bit:
Place plate over the omlette in the pan (having removed it from the grill);
invert
slide the omlette back from the plate into the pan so the not so cooked side is now the base
place back on the heat

cook untill firm

Cut into pieces
serve with thin slices of chorizo after a night out on DF's at the west-end Subway

This is ace #2

http://www.mercurytheatre.info/

being a fan of aged radio drama, and this being by Orson Welles; you cant really go wrong, and you can bit=torrent everything

La lived me missed made

top actors:

Min-sik Choi
Tomisaburo Wakayama
Kenneth Williams
Harry Dean Stanton

Pipe organ FAQ

1. The longest Pipe ever is 128 foot long, you cant hear the note it produces
2. You would normally get 72 keys on a keyboard and 12 on the foot peddles
3.There can be over 3000 pipes per pipe organ
4.If you arranged all the pipes from 3 pipe organs in a line they would stretch from here to Monahan (Ireland) , THE LONG WAY AROUND
5.Be careful when using the term “pipe organ” in Arab states; it may be an awe-inspiring phrase in the West but in local Persian “Pipe Organ” translates as “Your Mother wears the Shoes of wounded Dog”
6.My old boss were so tight he would piss in a bottle rather than take 2 minutes to use the toilet
7.If you open some of the motors in Leeds Grammar Schools pipe organ you will see the above referred to as “A Twat”
8.The famous Magritte painting is in fact the introductory illustration to a 1917 children’s guide to Pipe Organs. The right hand portion with the missing “Organ” and page number 5 have been lost in time
9.The Japanese have invented a TOTALLY flat Pipe organ that you can fold and carry
10.Apple are working on a version of the above only you cant change the pipes, it has less keys but it looks so good you want to lick it
11.Cary Grant, Rock Hudson and James Whale were all big fans of Pipe Organs, John Wayne, however, was not.

listy listy

Four jobs for my past selves:

1.Restorer, repairer, builder and tuner of pipe organs
2.Picture framer
3.Walking around a land fill site picking up all the stuff (normally pastic bags) that had blown off the land fill site and putting them into a bag which we then put back on the land fill site so it could then blow off it again (I refer to this as my Sisyphus period)
4.counting people at Waverley Station

Four little known facts about me:
1.up untill I moved to edinburgh every one used to call me mouse
2.I have met and appeared on TV with take-that (inc robbie williams); I still have this on video
3.i currently have a packet of filter tips and a shiney 2 pence piece in my left jean pocket
4.i have only voted once and it were for the Lib Dems

Four city airports i have been to:
1.Edinburgh
2.Dublin
3.Belfast
4.Leister

Four foods i hate to love:
1.blue cheese
2.tomatoe and vegatable cup a soup with crutons
3.Tequela
4.Very strong thick black coffee

Four websites i visit daily
1.google
2.bbc radio listen again
3.m*sp*ce (although 69.7% its not there, there comes a point when describing errors as unexpected becomes just plain dishonest)
4.IMdB

Four things i want to do before i die
1.Dream
2.Live
3.stop
4.listen to coltranes “Ascension” all the way through, straight

Four people i am tagging
1.Garys Fanny (who wont do it)
2.Palmer (whom seems to have disappeared to m*sp*ce)
3.Ms Z
4.Ceci

where this came from . . .

the idea that im posting this makes me laugh

alot

im oncall by the way, it does strange things to a man:


Part way through the evening
The lads were 'round in force
OF course they'd all been drinkin and thinking of woman and rutting
When one produced a card
Hard plastic for pleasure

Strutting their stuff their minds made up
Not stopping to think (Well maybe of pink)
Seeking, soon to be there
Treasure, Ladies spread bare
And only small care of which one to pick

Born was the grin of a groin and their faces
Tracing backwards and forwards
Between porn and the sweet shelf

Finally the climax of the rock hard mission; the decision
Not one
Not two
But 3 to see, here

Switch card the art with little time to sign darting out to the street not a beat missed in elated mood some difficulty walking and pictures that were rude

...working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need

but i do need this:

Cause they do this;

and thats ace

(The Telescopes recording of the above show no less)

**dances**

cut out and keep #1

ive got a copy of pho..., err, an image manipulation applicaton

You can almost smell the biting satire brewing

I posted a while back;

1. 1.a
And argued in favour of free speech over peoples sensibilities

2.

Then I referenced this, saying I was glad they got off but would found humour in them being buggered)

But then this happens

3.

And my first reaction is im glad; it feels like justice has been done.

And this

4.

Which I don’t think is particularly nice

Thinking about it, it did seem a bit inconsistent.

So why my original reaction to 3 and 4?
I’m white; protestant background
In the media every time we hear Islam or Muslim it’s followed by a death count.
Compare the picture of the BNP to the picture of Abu Hanza.
Agencies in Britain were aware of the nature of his speeches for years; it was only when the US started getting involved that he was arrested.
An idiot would have been able to work out that if you publish cartoons like above then its going to piss Muslims off.

Any one noticed that at the time there is increasing bad press in the wider media regarding Islam, troupes in Afghanistan are increasing and a case is slowly being developed for action against Iran.

Shits complicated int it

Mrs Beaton

this rocks:

chick pea and corriander salad

Ingredients:
Chick peas; 2 cans or equivelent from dried (soak and cook them first), dried recommended
A lemon
A lime
Some garlic (couple of cloves ull do the trick)
3 birdstype chilli peppers (2 red, one green, or less if you're a bit Lib-Dem) theyre the small ones
Olive oil (some)
Mushrooms (large handfull)
one red onion
Fresh corriander (about a small fist full, depends on taste and size of fists)


Method:

In a sealable jar add:
The garlic this should be chopped finely, salt added and then crushed under the flat blade of a knife
The chillis chopped very finely
Most of the juice from the lime
Most of the juice of the lemon
About 2/3rds the equivalent amount of the lime/lemon juice; of olive oil
Salt, ground pepper and a touch of sugar to taste

Shake jar (having sealed)

Chop the remaining ingredients (apart from chick peas) as desired

Put in a bowl, add the yellowy looking stuff from the jar to the bowl, stir and leave for 90 minutes

Serve with a light green leaf salad, lidls lager and Cannonball Adderleys "Somethin' Else"

As requested

The rest room just before cleaning

**nospoons is researching the legalitys of a rat toilet action shot**

Rats deux

So i get a litter tray for norman and tink; cause you can train rats to use them. And i was right impressed that they seemed to have taken to it. However it would seem, after further inspection that normans got his head 'round it, however tink seems to be using the adjasent corner.

So it would seem that i need to creat a female lavatory for Ms Tink, does that mean i have to find another ladie rat to accompany her to powder her noise, should i get vases full of pot porri and what is this thing about ladies bathrooms and shells?.

This is one of the many stress's of being a house keeper for rodents


**pictures available on request**

...and here's one i made earlyer

I went with you
'Cause I thought you were me
But really you are what I'd become

I went with you
'Cause you talked with me
The need to be some mothers son

I went with you
Down on my knee's?
Consider it done

But really Babe

I went with you
because you were
Something warm with which to come


that'll be '96 then, my how time flys when your jaiked oot yer box

smug

only 500 of them and one of thems mine, awooo

hope its not shite

the kittens are safe

Right then, first up, we got to line 16 (well 16 submissions anyway), its seems to have a wee bit of a teenangst lost love feel to it. Alright so i dont think its going to make Radio4's poetry please, but it does give me i warm fuzzy feeling that people took time to add to this; so as promised heres what we got so far, should we continue? should we start another?

I remember the other day as we spoke how our hearts get broken
Too many feelings, words left unspoken;
Everytime we talk, playing again and again the memory of
The day you left and got back and left;
The tinny sound of that cheap japanese tape recorder that was your (16 year
old) world
Whirled back and then left
Its never the same taping it off the radio
Its never gonna be the same
How can i begin, to unravel the past?
Passing fast for-ever looping the games exchanging differant places; faces
of a familier cast
An understudy hatching wicked plans from the wings
But your face is the face that keeps coming back
And left
And forth
And right
Stuck in my mind's eye
Like some long lost, new found stranger injecting that sense of danger
Infected, its strange that we are
I slept
You bore
We wept
You say 'case they're shy
Paid too high a cost, left with nothing but the anger
Drawn over and over broke
Fuck it, fuck it all on the last race at Lingfield
Cover the lost face that replaced our laughter
Breathe life into the death mask of tomorrow


With thanks to:
Sasha, Gary , Emma, Ceci

myspace;

reasons that it sucks

4. It is impossible to make your main page look like anything other than a shitey 1997 home page programmed by a hyperactive teenager (¬/^o^\-) etc
z. Tom is not my friend, i have very little to say to the man, infact we have never met
22. Independent research shows that 88.76% of the time all you get when you go to myspace is pacman

Satire

and for his next trick nospoons requires a copy of photoshop and a picture of G.W bush

censorship

first 5 searches on fannies in google.co.uk:

1. www.bgafd.co.uk/films/details.php/id/f1212
2. www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0607-04.htm
3. www.fanniesonthebeach.com

Now on google.com

1. www.bgafd.co.uk/films/details.php/id/f1212
2. www.fanniesonthebeach.com
3. www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?ItemID=16505

and now on google china...

1. www.webshots.com/g/55/263-sh/43922.html
2. www.bgafd.co.uk/films/details.php/id/f1212
3. www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0607-04.htm

need i say more, damn those reds

damn them

the sory so far

im right impressed by the amount added to this so far, please continue, heres what we got so far

I remember the other day as we spoke how our hearts get broken

too many feelings, words left unspoken;

everytime we talk, playing again and again the memory of the day you left and got back and left;
the tinny sound of that cheap japanese tape recorder that was your (16 year old) world

whirled back and then left

its never the same taping it off the radio

its never gonna be the same

how can i begin, to unravel the past?

passing fast for-ever looping the games exchanging differant places; faces of a familier cast

an understudy hatching wicked plans from the wings


remember add lines in comments, the comments on this post that is; gary... (lets see if we can get to line 16)

poetry

remember kids every time you vist this blog and dont contribute to this the lord our god kills another kitten

try explaining the idea of motion blur to a rat

Tink (left) Norman (right); Francis Bacon stylee

Arctic Monkeys

Take a singer with a northern (english) accent with lyrics about girlfiends mixed with spikey jangley guitars and add to classic 3 minute pops songs;

yes that right, The Wedding Present reformed last year

Arctic Monkeys aren't half bad either are they

**it has since been pointed out to me that imagining the Arctic Monkeys singing in a George Formby stylee is quite funny

lets try it now;

And I've seen him with girls of the night
And he told Roxanne to put on her red light
They're all infected but he'll be alright
Cause he's a scumbag, don't you know I said he's a scumbag, don't you know!**


they are really quite ace

Belle and Sabastian

why?

you had one good song ages ago and you didnt even sing most of it

please stop

please

and trying to rhyming poet with throat is not clever; its shite

my right ear;

Lets write poetry:

ok then the idea here is that we all communally write a poem, ive started of with the line below and any one wishing to add lines should continue in the comments, hopefully in a few we will all have made some culture and ill post the finished version later; here goes:

(semicolon use is optional;)


I remember the other day as we spoke how our hearts get broken

songs that i should really write lyrics for (this'll be the 6th, no make that 8, no 9 times i posted this, no offence meant)

loving dey fat girls (hay, dey come much more) :-A calypso ballad
Carried away
O.L.D.N.C
You're a sturdy girl now (but soon you'll be fat) : done in a bellend sabastian style
Spare change, me? no sir (cause all my money's for spending): Blues style
You're not that hairy (for a Jewish Lady)
Loving the way, yeah (you fist me baby): - R n B
Smacks IV poofs (da RE: :AL men E8 M0rpH1ne)
2 days away and no cummy cummy? (i return you on the warren-tary)

norman

tink

@Ive got a camera!

yey, heres a picture of my desk at work:


christ this is starting to look like one of them homepages from '99; heres me, my wife, my pets and my right ear

coming

Hancock

Anthony John Hancock

1924 - 25 June 1968

click ont links above, he's on tuesdays bbc7 listen again (available for a week at a time per episode)

ID cards

nae chance!

Rats - a point of order

no they dont smell, they are very clean animals, the reason they live in dirt in the wild is because of all the shit we humans produce

yes they spread the plague, many many years ago, we curreently spread hiv, Hep-A, B and C, herpes and pretty soon maybe bird flu

i dont care the tail freaks you out, not only is it a particularly clever bit of kit but more importantly take alook down yer pants; not that pretty, either, is it?

You should be able to tell the differance between male and female rats; one should not get a male rat friend for his, or hers, lone male rat and then find them engaged in adult rat type activity and then find that it is pretty aparent when a rat is male due to the large set a baws he has and then have to pay 75 notes to have said baws sliced

more band names

plinth
malleable
euphonium
rehab cat-twats

band names

what gary and john didnt want to use

Futton Envy
Praxis
(the) Fat Dyke
Ned
Chavling
Jesus Juice
Kangeroo Erections

only wankers write poetry

So heres some poetry what i wrote;

she sits in the room and drinks wine on his own he remembers the memories that were never her own the voice of her friends and the touch of a love a known temptress the long night caresses her loneliness with another slow drink in the future the present and past chances forsaken her senses shaken and twisted long passion for what she has not wanted but needed and treated like that which has no meaning and seeming to last forever or never it is one and the same choices forever with herself left to blame anything and nothing for its all just the same she thinks of the end and the beginning to question not of what is what should be but what could be no-more till the end

'97

Pissant

I were going to post this the other night but i thought id sleep on it, and no it still fucking really piss's me of

what another thing that piss's you off mark, well yes another...

the I love 1980's/90'sn shows a few years a go were quite enjoyable but they seem to have started a trend in setimentalising, no.. in fact sanatising and packaging as product child hood memories of those of us in our 20's/30's, stand up comics referancing spangles and space invaders (the crisps, cost 5p a packet, like eating a packet of cup a soup with out the water added)

but the worst offender ive come across (apart from the new starwars which if it wasnt for web sites complaining about it the WWW would be half the size) is that fucking pissant shite of a damp fart of a song; The JCP song, and not so much that but the fucking video sinically referance various tv shows and toys from the 80's (in this case transformers, optamus prime to be precise and nightrider), with the hope that some of is get a warm fuzzy feeling about time now past and we wish revisit those more innocent times. No im not going to buy your song, no the 80's were not good apart from some of the music which was mostly depressing, remembering toffo's does not make comedy and Jimi Saville has always been a cunt.

Another thing about the fucking pissant JCB song is; in the times of ASBO's and Gary Glitter is it good that a song that condones missing school to go and "sit on your fathers lunchbox" reachs number one in our charts?